The Adventure of the Lifetime
by armis37
Summary: A tale about characters from Tales from the Borderlands.


It was a quiet night, with moon barely getting through the clouds. Rhys was driving the van through the wastelands, focused on the road, sometimes glimpsing to the sides to check if there was anything there. After all, in Pandora there's always something. Most of the time, 'something' tries to kill you and eat your intestines. Or just kill you. Nevertheless, it sucks. If you're not careful, you will die.

Rhys had more reason to remember that than anyone else. Hyperion surely isn't wanted in Pandora, and his beautiful jacket attracted problems wherever inhabitants of this crazy planet saw him. Working for Hyperion filled him with pride – he's the man, he works with the best company ever, he can do whatever he likes. However, on Pandora, that feeling started to sink. Not very much to be proud about when you're lying with a bullet in your head. The things Hyperion has done to this place haven't done anything good too. Rhys wasn't even aware of half of it, and now he understands why the people here hate them so much. Hell, even his new so-called friends had a hard time trusting him…

Speaking of it, one of them has opened her eyes. Sasha. The younger sister, the gun-wielding younger sister. Rhys didn't trust Fiona one bit, since she always looked like she was hiding or not saying something. Sasha, even though she had a sharper tongue and a hotter temperament, was the one Rhys would trust if it came down to it…

'Boo!' unexpected words teared through the silence.

Rhys gasped, turning the wheel drastically to the side.

'God damn it… _god damn it, Sasha, that's not funny._' Rhys returned the wheel to it's normal position, while trying to keep a low voice.

'Thought you could use a good wake-up call, Mr. Half-Robot' she replied, giggling. 'After all, it's us you're driving, and I don't want you sleeping behind the wheel.'

'I wasn't sleeping. I'm in this too, remember?' Even though a bit angry, Rhys was thankful for it. His mind was drifting away bit by bit, and he really was tired.

'Oh, I remember it too well. Still think I should have thrown you out the door when I had the chance.' She grinned, sitting near Rhys, rubbing her eyes.

'It'd be your loss, really. How would you manage without such a great individual as myse… Ouch!' Rhys rubbed the shoulder where Sasha punched him. 'What was that for?'

'For being a narcissistic Hyperion salesman, or whatever you do out there.' Sasha's gaze drifted through the window. 'Really though, what do you do there? You never ventured into the details.'

Rhys took some time before answering.

'Well, apart from being awesome… Hey, don't give me that look! Anyway, I do lots of things. I strike deals, I do some programming, but mainly I do whatever is asked of me. See, I'm not the biggest fish in the pond.'

'Yeah… You never are.' Sasha sighed deeply. 'Same is here. If you think you're the best around and carry the biggest weapon, you're going to rest in the dust soon enough. That's why I hate this place. We must fight for the little bits, while some big men take what they want.

'What about Vault Hunters? They seem pretty fine, from what I've heard.' Rhys risked to take a look at Sasha, and was surprised – moon was shining on her face, lighting her beautiful features – sharp cheeks, beautiful green eyes, narrow, but somehow seductive lips…

'Hey! Eyes on the road, jackass!' Sasha definitely noticed his look. 'Were you… were you watching at me?'

Rhys couldn't dare turn turning his head again, but he could swear she blushed.

'Umm, I think you have… something on your… for… forehead.' Rhys managed stuttering.

Sasha turned around, wiped at her forehead a few time and turned back.

'So, Vault Hunters? Well, until our little adventure I haven't really met them in person. They hang around Sanctuary mainly, and we do our best to avoid them. After all, they could slice us up like butter.' Sasha took a minute of silence, before speaking again. 'Wait, don't they hate Hunters up in there? Why do you say they're fine?'

'Uhh, I have… I have my sources. Let's just say I don't believe everything Hyperion says.'

'Huh, now that's a surprise. I thought you were their puppet without any brain-power.' She grinned again.

'Atleast I don't live down here with psychos and filth.' Rhys tried to make it sound playful, but as he noticed Sasha's smile go away, he knew he failed miserably. 'Hey, I didn't mean it…'

'Tell me, where is it better – to live with filth down here, or with assholes and psychopaths up there?' Sasha asked fiercely.

Rhys took a deep breath. 'I didn't want to say it like that, it just…'

'Don't bother, Hyperion man. I'm going back to sleep now.' Sasha got up, stretched and went back to her bed.

Rhys punched himself in his mind, multiple times. Even kicking was involved. He felt so stupid for making such a dumb mistake in words. Usually he had a way with them, but now he just stumbled over his own tongue.

Rhys was never the one who would like to hurt people, even if they were assholes. Except Vasquez, but he doesn't count. Plus, she was his one of three allies here, and without friends on this planet, you will die. Especially with a Hyperion jacket.

After a few hours of boring driving, sun started to rise and Rhys noticed something. This time, 'something' was three cars, lined to block the road. He started to turn the wheel to avoid them and go around them when he saw a man with a… what was that shiny thing in his hands?

When their tire exploded, it was pretty clear that it was a gun. And they were in trouble.


End file.
